Holiday shopping is a lot like speed dating: You’ll arrive at the mall optimistic for the array of perfect gifts you expect to find, but you’ll ultimately leave unsatisfied, with a couple pairs of socks for your siblings and a few candles for the in-laws.
Swap the disappointing pleasantries of unwrapping a tupperware set and go for the jugular: make them laugh!
Gag gifts aren’t just for White Elephant exchanges and contrived humor; they’re also there to save your butt when you’re out of time and options. Here are our favorites.
BIGMOUTH ULTIMATE WINE BOTTLE GLASS
For the aunt who brings her own bottle and finishes it, this novelty glass is the perfect way to tease her for everything she’s said and done after too much Merlot.
Because you’ve never actually heard someone say, “This piece of toast is absolutely divine!”
Some guys just don’t have the ability to grow facial hair—which is why they’ll love this hat with a built-in beard that totally looks just like the real thing.
Because our dogs are people, too, and therefore should get trolled just as hard with this humiliating raptor suit that will have your pup begging for its cone of shame back.
We don’t know what to make of these, but neither will the lucky recipient whose bathroom life will be permanently altered by these groundbreaking mitten-shaped moist wipes.
Give the gift of a subtle hint that says, “Dude, it’s time to shave that rainforest growing on your back” with this ergonomically-correct lumbar shaver.
For the guy whose goatee looks like it was done by Jackson Pollock, this goatee-shaving template guarantees he’ll get it right without actually learning to shave properly (clip-on tie sold separately).
If you want to know how stoked the recipient of this ugly fish pillow will be, just look at the woman modeling it in this photo. When the blobfish goes the way of the dodo bird, this thing could be worth millions. (Or nothing. Probably nothing).
Get this for the guy who constantly has food on his mind (all of us) to remind him that a 2-foot-tall baloney sandwich wall decal is just around the corner . . . of every room in his house.
Using the sun to generate power to operate a device that’s also meant to generate power is a silly paradox—which is why this exercise in futility is the perfect gag gift for the guy who’s serious about going green.