For every occasion, there’s always this one individual who seems to captivate everyone. Her smile lights up the room, people gather to talk to her, and you can’t help but be drawn to her. She may not be the prettiest person at the event, but something about her feels exciting and inviting.
Who is she? How is she able to appear so likeable to both men and women?
The answer is not in her choice of clothing or her witty remarks (although those are important, too). Her allure comes from her body language. Want to capture the audience the next time you walk into a party? Practice these 10 tips and you’ll be on your way to becoming instantly irresistible.
1. Have an open and relaxed posture.
Whether you’re standing, sitting, or walking, having the right posture not only makes you look charming, it also helps you to appear taller. If you’ve been slouching for a long time, there are plenty of easy exercises to fix your stance. It also helps to observe yourself using a full-length mirror. Sit, walk, and stand in front of it for about 5-10 minutes each day until you have the correct posture. This means:
- Head straight and relaxed
- Shoulders back
- Abdomen in
- Knees slightly bent
Once you have mastered good posture, you’ll find that you feel more comfortable and confident when facing people.
2. Smile with your eyes.
Your smile is one of your most potent weapons to instantly make you likeable. A genuine smile is supposed to reach your eyes, creating tiny crinkles that light up your face. This suggests that you are truly happy, and nothing is more attractive than a person who smiles like they mean it. According to research, smiling also alleviates stress and can influence your level of success.
Believe it or not, you can enhance your smile simply by practicing it every day! Face a mirror, take a deep breath, hold it, and slowly exhale before smiling. You’ll notice that you feel more relaxed and your smile looks genuine. Try this a couple more times until you feel confident!
3. Subtly mirror tiny movements.
Mirroring is a body language technique that successful people use to gain rapport. When done right, it should make you more likeable without much effort. It’s part of our psychology to respond positively to individuals who are like us. In fact, a baby’s body functions (like its heartbeat) sync with the mother even before birth.
Good mirroring begins by first observing the other person’s movements. Is he leaning forward? Crossing his legs? Nodding? Reflect these actions with your own body to quickly develop a bond of trust. This method has been proven numerous times in different experiments. So at your next party, watch people closely. Mirror their movements to connect better with any person in the room.
4. Use a quick touch on the forearm or shoulder.
Don’t underestimate the power of a quick pat on the back or a friendly touch on the arm. Unlike words, these are universally understood and can convey more meaning. For example, if you really like a person, you may lightly touch their arm during a conversation. Similar to mirroring, this builds rapport with people you meet. Remember not to overdo this though! Just a light tap is enough — never linger!
5. Maintain good eye contact.
There’s no doubt that making eye contact is one of the most powerful body language arsenals in your book. However, doing it wrong will make you look creepy. Combine this with tip #2: smile while making eye contact to instantly make yourself irresistible. Ten seconds is a safe time limit before looking elsewhere. Otherwise, you will trigger a person’s defense mechanism and make them feel uncomfortable.
6. Turn your body towards the person.
Also known as the “big baby pivot,” this involves turning your entire body towards another person. This body language trick got its name from the way most folks turn their attention to a baby. When being introduced to someone, make sure to give your undivided attention by pivoting your body towards them. This delivers the message that they’re special and you’re interested in them. True interest in another person makes you super irresistible in return!
7. Use open hand gestures.
The handshake that we practice today was, in fact, an early custom to prove that you’re not hiding any weapons. That’s why we have suspicions when people don’t show their hands. With this in mind, use gestures to make you the most memorable person in the room.
When conversing or speaking to a crowd, use certain hand gestures to create an impact. Here are a few:
- Use your fingers when listing points
- A solid fist means you’re determined
- Make a sweeping motion to mean “everything”
- Bring hands to your chest when talking about a personal experience
Consider your audience when using hand gestures. Remember: one sign could mean a world of difference in another culture, so use with caution!
8. Pause for a few seconds.
This is a subtle yet very effective part of your body language. You can implement quick pauses during conversations or speeches when:
- You’re asked a difficult or personal question (this gives you enough time to think of a good answer)
- You want to build a dramatic effect (pausing between statements is a sign that you’re about to deliver big news)
- You want to create an air of mystery (particularly when coupled with a small smile)
Pausing is also great when used just before you smile. It shows that you’re not someone who gives it away so easily.
9. Nod to show confidence in opinion.
According to one study, nodding doesn’t necessarily mean that you agree with something. Rather, this simple action strengthens an already existing opinion. In a gathering for instance, nodding your head to the speaker reinforces whatever he or she is saying. This creates a connection between you two — even if you don’t really agree with everything they say. It’s also a sign that shows you’re paying attention.
10. Avoid fidgeting.
Feeling nervous during an important event? Need to calm your nerves before meeting with clients? If you want to be instantly irresistible, one of the things you should avoid is looking restless. If you have the habit of fiddling with your fingers when worried, it could signal to others that you’re insecure. Project an appealing aura by standing tall yet relaxed.
If you’re still feeling anxious, be sure to bring something familiar with you, like your favorite pen or necklace. These are usually called “comfort objects.” According to experts, carrying something you associate with good memories will help reduce anxiety. Look at it or hold it in your hand for a few seconds to remind you that everything’s going to be okay. Then, proceed to be your best, irresistible self!